Do you have a "Shit! I realise I'm racist and feel white guilt -- what do I do know?" manual? That would help me a lot ;)

ILU. ^_~*

You covered pretty much it, I think. It's important not to get defensive in a situation like that. Many people who consider themselves informed and politically correct will not accept that kind of criticism (perhaps thinking that they're "good enough"). I try to be thankful when it happens to me and after a quick inner defensive braincell-huddle I usually become all quiet and reflective about it. ;)

Anyway, love this post. :)

I don't think it's ironic at all, actually. Many if not most "liberals" (however you're defining that), in my experience, have this rather cartoonish image of "a racist" in their heads, so if someone says "racist" they HEAR "inbred high-school dropout with bad teeth and horrible personal hygiene, whose idea of a good time is shooting beer cans and tipping cows" because, after all, racism is the ultimate form of uneducated buffoonery.

That used to be how I thought. Seriously. Even now, when I can just about accept it (and take a good hard look at myself) if someone calls something I said or did racist, if someone called me, personally racist, I'd really have to fight the urge to simply scream "AM NOT!" - whether it's true or not, "racist" applied to a person rather than a statement or an action still implies a certain amount of deliberate intent, and I know that I am not deliberately racist.

Make sense?

This is fantastic. I wish more people would realize the chance to educate and better themselves when these things happen, instead of immediately getting defensive.

Memorying this. I don't get called a racist often enough, I think.

I might add something, probably to #2 "Recognize that being accused of racism is likely to make you feel defensive. Very few people like to think of themselves as racist. Before you respond, remember that the person who pointed out to you that you said or did something racist was responding to that specific behavior. It doesn't mean that they think that everything that you do is racist, or that they think that you are deliberately racist." -- or maybe swap the positions of #1 and #2. I think that it's very hard for most people to be thankful without taking that moment to reflect on what they just said or did and why it was a problem, first.

While I've never been called a racist, I think that's largely because most of the people around me are racist, and I have long wished to call each of them out on it, but I've never had the courage.

Well, as a first point: the song is right. Everyone's a little bit racist. Everyone has prejudices against someone else, whether it's related to colour, ethnicity, or class. So remember that while this person may be pointing something out about you, they aren't bloody perfect either.
(And sometimes people also overreact because they like picking these kinds of fights, I don't know what you did, but that's happened to me before). I guess I'm just that person who thinks everyone is racist, and the person who isn't is a very rare thing. I don't even think they exist.

And, for me, it all sort of begs the question "what IS racism?" Is it an annoyance with a certain type of person, an annoyance with a stereotype, there are many different things it could be.

I am prejudiced, and I just accept that. I strongly dislike chavs, though that's a class issue and not a race one. But it's there, I know it's there, and I don't go around saying things about them or hurting them, but in my mind I do find them absolutely irritating beyond belief.

I don't think you should be so hard on yourself.

I don't know, I guess this is just my cynical nature speaking.

The issue, I think, is with people who use "everyone's a little bit racist" as an argument back when someone accuses them of doing something racist.

But it's really *good* for people whose automatic impulse, when they get caught saying/doing something racist, is to say "But I'm not racist!" and deny deny deny.

It's really just the follow-up -- do you say "Everyone's a little bit racist, so why bother?" or do you say "Everyone's a little bit racist, let me try to make my bit littler"?

Well I suppose a lot of what I'm trying to say is, I know who I am, and I don't appreciate people trying to guilt trip me when I know that they probably have underlying racist tendancies as well. I don't go out of my way to hurt people, I would never physically harm anyone or say anything to to purposefully inflict emotional harm. But I know my mind, and if someone said "you're being racist" I might say "oh shit, shouldn't have said that" but it's not going to make me change myself.

The only time I've ever been called a racist (actually I believe it was a 'racist bigot') was when I worked at a convenience store. This chain of stores has a policy of not accepting passports as id because too many people that work their aren't familiar enough with them to tell a fake one from a real one. Right or wrong, thats the policy. So one day I had this young looking man come in. He was in his early 20s and looked like he could have been even younger. He happened to be African American, which had nothing to do with the following events. Let me reiterate, my actions would have been the same for Any young person who wanted to buy alcohol.

So he wants to buy a case of beer. Now mind you, this is all with my manager standing about two feet away. I am in doubt about whether or not he is of age so I ask for ID. First he hands me an out of state license, that is also expired. That is a no brainer, I can't take that. Then he gives me a passport. I explain to him that company policy is to not accept passports. However, I default to my manager and ask him what he would like me to do. He tells me I did what I am supposed to do and I refuse sale.

Guy leaves, and comes back in a few minutes later to talk to my manager, at which point policy is reiterated and my manager apologizes but stands behind my actions. He leaves again. Now, I have a line out to the door and so does the other cashier. A minute after the guy leaves his girlfriend comes in. She rushes past the two lines and starts yelling, asking how we can refuse someone with two valid forms of ID. I try to explain to her, while assisting the people in my line that one of them was not a valid form of ID, in fact he shouldn't have even tried to use it as one. I admitted that the passport was a valid form of ID but company policy prohibits us from accepting them. I even offered to show her the policy book where it stated this.

Long story short (ok not really short) she finally gives up and heads out the door, throwing over her shoulder that I am a 'racist bigot.' *shrug* If she had actually wanted to stay calm with me I would have explained to her (again) about policy, about the fact that my manager was standing Right There and about how a week before I was hired, the assistant manager, who was good at her job, had just been fired because she accepted a fake ID as valid without knowing it and it happened to be a police plant.

Holy crap that was a really long post, sorry for spewing that out in your LJ Destiny!

Totally agree. Except when it's a stupid freshman who calls you racist because you said "Excuse me" when he was blocking the door, and he happens to be Mexican.

Oh, the world we live in.

I saw this a while ago but didn't have time to comment then -- I just wanted to say that this is really insightful without coming across as preachy. That's one of my favorite things about any of your entries on social issues, actually.

Hey! zia_narratora showed me this entry, and I'd kind of like to use it as a bulletin board. I'm a Resident Advisor, and one of our big educational issues is the issue around white privelege. I can give you credit as well, because I think this puts so many things into perspective in a really non threatening and encouraging way.

I refuse to marginalize my feelings about racism or subordinate them to whomever wants to call me racist. I will be open to them, sure, and ready to think about them, but I cannot assume that everyone who tells me I'm racist is immediately right. And, certainly, I want to talk about it, because there's s dissonance somewhere in this, and learning and communication is in order. Otherwise, we have kind of a game of "Racist Marco Polo".

::: walks left :::
"Racist!"
Oh, ok. ::: walks right :::

You're moving away from the bad place, but you have no idea why.

Simply being told I'm racist, and the conversation is now considered "over", makes it incredibly one-sided, and it wouldn't be something I'd be thankful for at all.